So
much so quick!
As
I've written a lot lately (since I've been here) questioning what I want, where
I want to be, and all those moments of my life where everything is just
"unsure", I find every waking day I am here is another day that its
"okay". It’s where I'm to be. It’s a daily reminder of God saying,
"Chill out, I got this, do you not trust me or what?"
I
forget all too often He's growing me to be something more, but that’s not an
overnight feat. And that, my friends, is how I function best. It’s how I've
always preferred to function. Start quick and finish quick. Easy peasy. But not
here, nope, He's showing me daily how to slow down, and embrace every. single.
day. For the most part, it's been rewarding! For the parts it hasn't been,
well, those are the days I've found myself pouting more than I am
praising.
I
want to share something a dear friend who is on the other side of the
world recently wrote. This is where God is magnificent. No matter where we are
or what we're doing, He gives us people. People who may have a different job
function, but carry the exact same purpose. Those people we call brothers and
sisters of Christ; and if you’re really lucky (blessed is a better term) you
can call them friends, as well.
Her
blog post read Brennan Manning
quote, “Being fully present in the now is perhaps the premier skill of the
spiritual life.” This is a struggle for many.
We are desiring creatures.
From birth we've been raised and developed to work for and anticipate the next
"thing" to take place in our life. First, we are born, then we learn
to walk, then talk, then remember, read, write, make friends, play sports, graduate
high school, choose a college, move away from home, graduate college, get a
"real" job, get married, have kids, then watch children go through
the exact same process, until you retire, then you move to Florida, golf
everyday, and eventually die. Your life may not happen in that exact order, but
isn't that essentially what we strive for? Maybe adding a few adventures and
additional "to do's" in between those standard activities and you
have lived a full and successful life.
The
problem is all those things don't happen back-to-back. And from birth to
college, we are used to going, going, going, and then bam! The accomplishments
you then work towards in your post college life take a little more time. Life
isn't running at a million miles an hour anymore. I'm sure this period is
termed many different things, but I like to call it the "quarter-life
crisis". The time when you think something is wrong because life is
moving, yet feels like a complete stand still. Some people love the break. On
the other hand it drives me nuts. It’s so difficult for me to be totally here
because I'm constantly thinking of the next thing to do or the next place to
be. This is where Brennan's quote applies to me. I'm physically in
Pennsylvania. My heart is scattered across the globe with the people I love. My
mind is in every country I think of moving to next. And my relationship with
God is basically when I find time to fit Him in or share my latest plans of
what I want to happen next in my life. Seem fair, right? Not so much.
Jim
Elliot stated, "Wherever you are, be all there." and ohh doozy am I
not all here. If I could narrow my mind, heart, and desires down to only a
handful of places I'd feel accomplished. But Proverbs 19:34 says, "Many
are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will
stand."
So
as I look back on all the time I am spending being somewhere else in my heart,
I now see its been time wasted. If I had just chosen to be all here from the
beginning, I can only imagine how much richer my existence here would be.
Perhaps I wouldn't be feeling these "Quarter-Life Crisis" symptoms
and be riding the thrill ride of life I'm so used to living.
You
know, this isn't even what I wanted to write about tonight, but I guess God had
other words He wanted my fingertips to produce.
Praise
Him!
.::A Far Off Britt::.
Brittany! I LOVE this post! Seriously. My favorite was the line by Jim Elliot. So true and such a great thing to practice. I shouldn't have to practice but I do find my mind also thinking about what's next, what do I have to accomplish for the next week. It's so easy to get caught up in "to-do's". I'm happy you blogged about this. It's great to see I'm not the only one that thinks ahead and daydreams. :)
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