Dear Starbucks,
I've missed you greatly. I feel I abandoned our relationship as soon as was no longer in need of your WiFi offerings. I know. I led you on to believe my love for you was much deeper when really I just used you for what you were good for:
Caffeine kicks
Wifi
A good place to get away
I am still dedicated to you in a way, though. I cannot see myself going anywhere else and drinking their coffee and using their Internet and still have the same feelings I feel for you. My love for you has never changed, just life changed.
But do not worry about me. This life change I had was for the better! Partly due to our several months we spent together and mainly due to the grace of God, I can say I am different this January. I am a different person. I'm not as lost as I was. I'm not as discontent. I'm not dreading and questioning this year like I was last.
I may not visit you as often, but I promise when I visit we will still have this quality time together.
I thank you for your commitment to me, even when I am not as comitted to you. I will enjoy our time of reunion today, and until next time...
.::AFarOffBritt::.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
A Man Named Ray
So tonight was a little interesting, I met a man named Ray.
I was sitting here at Panera intending to work up a little meal planning/grocery list, and just as I began eating it, I saw a man sitting alone at a table pretending to be involved in the paper before his eyes. I have this illness where I am constantly watching other people. I think people might think I'm creepy because I'm staring at them all the time, but really I just study people. I like to watch the way they blink, the way they talk, the way they move, I should have just gone to school for sociology.
But there sat Ray. I felt like God wanted me to go talk to Ray. A little weird, but exciting because I think this man just needs a smile. Now I don't know what I'm going to say to him or how long I'll talk to him, or if I'll just sit down, or just stand there and be awkward, but I'll go talk to this guy. Well I have a free cookie on my My Panera card, so I go get a toffee nut cookie (because Dad loves toffee, so every older gentleman must like toffee!)
I get the cookie, walk right up to the man and say, "Hi! You look like you could use a smile, so I got you a cookie!"
He looked at me stunned and said, "What are you an angel?" and I sat down and said, "ha noooo." He asked, "Where did you come from?" I said I was sitting over there and just saw you and thought maybe you'd like a cookie, because you looked sad." He said, "Well, you're right." I asked what was wrong and he said he didn't know me well enough to tell me anything like that, but just that he was sitting there alone on thanksgiving and it wasn't right.
Well we began to chitchat and over an hour or two I knew why he was sitting there and why he was unhappy and I really believe God just used me to speak to him. It was so sad though, because he just 100% believes his life is over and I just told him, it wasn't, that God could give him life back and give him joy back, just like he had for me.
I don't know why God used me to speak to Ray, or maybe I just needed to hear what Ray had to say to me to avoid a life like he had.
I don't know. But I sit here confused and curious and just silently asking God, who sent who for who?
Ray asked to keep in touch, so I allowed him to write his number down for me. He said we should hang out again, maybe do lunch... I'm not so sure that's a good idea, but perhaps I'll give him a call from the church sometime and just let him know I'm praying for him. In the meantime, I think I need to be praying for me, too. For wisdom. For knowledge. For truth. For confidence. That the next time I meet a stranger, that I will wholeheartedly know the voice of the Lord and just allow Him to speak through me. Perhaps I'll pray that I won't be alone next time it happens too.
God is good.
Lord, give me discernment to know how to take this conversation that just happened. Lord I ask that I'm not 45 and unhappy and sad that life didn't end the way I wanted for a certain someone. Lord, you gave me a promise, just like Abraham, just like David, just like Esther. I won't forget it an I am standing on your Word and its truth.
How great you are God, how great you are!
.::AFarOffBritt::.
I was sitting here at Panera intending to work up a little meal planning/grocery list, and just as I began eating it, I saw a man sitting alone at a table pretending to be involved in the paper before his eyes. I have this illness where I am constantly watching other people. I think people might think I'm creepy because I'm staring at them all the time, but really I just study people. I like to watch the way they blink, the way they talk, the way they move, I should have just gone to school for sociology.
But there sat Ray. I felt like God wanted me to go talk to Ray. A little weird, but exciting because I think this man just needs a smile. Now I don't know what I'm going to say to him or how long I'll talk to him, or if I'll just sit down, or just stand there and be awkward, but I'll go talk to this guy. Well I have a free cookie on my My Panera card, so I go get a toffee nut cookie (because Dad loves toffee, so every older gentleman must like toffee!)
I get the cookie, walk right up to the man and say, "Hi! You look like you could use a smile, so I got you a cookie!"
He looked at me stunned and said, "What are you an angel?" and I sat down and said, "ha noooo." He asked, "Where did you come from?" I said I was sitting over there and just saw you and thought maybe you'd like a cookie, because you looked sad." He said, "Well, you're right." I asked what was wrong and he said he didn't know me well enough to tell me anything like that, but just that he was sitting there alone on thanksgiving and it wasn't right.
Well we began to chitchat and over an hour or two I knew why he was sitting there and why he was unhappy and I really believe God just used me to speak to him. It was so sad though, because he just 100% believes his life is over and I just told him, it wasn't, that God could give him life back and give him joy back, just like he had for me.
I don't know why God used me to speak to Ray, or maybe I just needed to hear what Ray had to say to me to avoid a life like he had.
I don't know. But I sit here confused and curious and just silently asking God, who sent who for who?
Ray asked to keep in touch, so I allowed him to write his number down for me. He said we should hang out again, maybe do lunch... I'm not so sure that's a good idea, but perhaps I'll give him a call from the church sometime and just let him know I'm praying for him. In the meantime, I think I need to be praying for me, too. For wisdom. For knowledge. For truth. For confidence. That the next time I meet a stranger, that I will wholeheartedly know the voice of the Lord and just allow Him to speak through me. Perhaps I'll pray that I won't be alone next time it happens too.
God is good.
Lord, give me discernment to know how to take this conversation that just happened. Lord I ask that I'm not 45 and unhappy and sad that life didn't end the way I wanted for a certain someone. Lord, you gave me a promise, just like Abraham, just like David, just like Esther. I won't forget it an I am standing on your Word and its truth.
How great you are God, how great you are!
.::AFarOffBritt::.
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