The Lawn? Mower

So like any day it's been sunny this year I do my best to make the most of the beautiful weather on my lunch break. Today, I came home quickly made my food and headed to my favorite spot to eat lunch and get away from it all. I don't like to be seen or watched where I am either so I always try and sneak out to this spot. It's like an open hideaway no one sees unless they're looking.
Well the neighbor across the street decided to mow his lawn just as I wanted to sneak out. Fail. I couldn't risk being spotted so I waited. In the meantime I scarfed down my food and chose the right moment of him turning his back to make my leap of faith!
Success!
I watch this man for a little while. I love being invisible, by the way. Have I mentioned this? Well I do! He mows the grass by the side walk and in front of the house and then I see him mowing the same place he did by the sidewalk. He continues to keep mowing the sidewalk! Back and forth until he reaches the street! I'm thinking this guy is out of his mind! Like, "uhh last I knew the grass wasn't growing on the sidewalk..."
Then I realize.. Focusing on just him, I thought he was nuts, but I didn't pay attention to what he was actually trying to achieve.
He was using the air from the mower blades to push the grass shavings off the sidewalk. An effort usually exhausted for the appearance of the property and the convenience of others. He finished clearing the sidewalk, turned off the engine, and walked it back to his shed out back.
Nice old man, he was.

I think there is a lesson to be learned of this.. I this we view God in this way. We watch Him at work and at times, it is very clear what he is trying to accomplish. But when He is using the same tool or piece of equipment for a purpose we're not accustomed, we think He's fallen off His rocker. We say "God, what are you doing?! Have you lost your mind??" until we step back and stop looking at the obvious and allow ourselves to realize what is being accomplished. Something bigger than mowing the grass.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 NKJV)


.::AFarOffBritt::.

Oh tis life an endless and joyous adventure

Woop Woop it's posting time!
So a couple weeks ago, I kind of left you hanging... ermmm sorry about that. I'll get back to that if I feel I haven't written a book about other things in the meantime.

I've just reread alot of the posts I've done within the last 6 months and I feel my readers (assuming there are lots and lots and lots) are owed an explanations as to what all God has been doing.

First and foremost. Mrs B.
Miracle. I don't have any other word for it, but undoubtedly a miracle.
God had heard my cry and the cries of many others and healed my dear friend.

Kenya. I went. I can't really talk about it though. Not because I don't want to, but I don't really have the words in me to explain Kenya. But it was __________. I told you, I don't have any words for what Kenya was to me.

Pastor. I lost a dear friend in February. A mentor. A fighter. A man that made it very clear what sacrificing ourselves daily really was. Blessed is the only word I know that describes how I feel to have had him in my life.

Work. Lots of changes already this year, but I'm having fewer and fewer anxiety attacks!!! YAY!

Church drama. AMAZING!!! I went from a non-speaking role to getting a mic! But most importantly, I was blessed beyond comprehension to see God move first handedly.

Study. I. Love. My. Bible. Study. Group.
i.e. I love my friends here in PA :)

Mall of America. I went on a 30hr road trip with Matty over Christmas - SOOOO FUN!!

Gideons. I love that my dad is a Gideon.

Karate. Guess whos a brown belt now. I've been waiting for that moment for nearly 10 years. I cried. I absolutely loved it. It was worth the wait to feel the accomplishment I felt that night.

Rhode Island. This was BIG. Seeing as I'm a person who doesn't let people help me, who doesn't ask for help, let me tell you about humility! It was so awesome! I think being rescued from a chasm will remain in the top 3 amazing things I'll do this year!

BBCS field trip. Got to see my lil sister by surprise last night. SO AMAZING! God is good :) and I love her alot!

I turned 25 in Jan. An age I never saw myself being, but lemme tell ya, its not bad... weird... but not bad. And I made mini donuts hehe

Youth. I love my youth group. I love every single one of the kids that I have been so unbelievably blessed to have in my life. So so so blessed.

Road TRIP!!!
Going to Seattle next month. Then to San Fran. Then driving back across the country. Just saying :)

On that. I end this post. <3 and peace tonight people!

.::AFarOffBritt::.

Peter's Grace - Our 2nd Chance

This is what it's all about... This is what He did for us... All of us... Each and everyone of us... Especially the ones who didn't deserve it the most. But then again, we ALL didn't deserve it the most...

Matthew 26:69-75

Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came up to him and said, "You also were with Jesus the Galilean." But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you mean." And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, "This man was with Jesus of Nazareth." And again he denied it with an oath: "I do not know the man." After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, "Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you." Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, "I do not know the man." And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." And he went out and wept bitterly.

.::AFarOffBritt::.

Adventure? Yes, please!

Can you believe I'm writing twice in one week(ish)?!?
Well blink twice my friends and then a few more, it just happened!

I can't continue my day without sharing how GREAT our God is!

I don't even know how to explain or where to start, but He's just amazing (period)

First things first, I'm going to Seattle! CANNOT wait, always wanted to go. Got approval from one boss, yay. Then the second, yay. Then went to book, wouldn't work, boo!
Ticket was still cheap the next day so I waited and booked that night. $45 cheaper than the previous three weeks I watched it!

Woot! Woot!

Now drudgingly knowing I had to eventually book a return ticket, I waited. Those prices dropped too!

Round trip to Seattle is UNDER $300, my friends! And that is from MY airport, not the major ones that are all 2 hours away! Woot Woot again!

So I booked it the return trip [sad face], yesterday morning.

Then early afternoon, my lovely friend, Miss Lauren, ask if I hadn't already booked my return trip home. She had a proposal for an insane idea that I enjoyed very much!! And it would result in me NOT flying back to PA, which made me jump in gleeful elation inside (I couldn't do it on the outside because I feared Steph would think I was having a medical episode of some sort)!

We weigh our options back and forth and decide texting is getting us nowhere. Oh the beauty of trying to hold an important conversation via twittling little fingers.

[Need to stop here, must get back to work, will fill in more later...]

.::AFarOffBritt::.

 

This is one that goes out to my besties!

I know its been FOREVER since I made any kind of post, but by the very likely chance that it is another FORVER before I post again, I want to leave you all with this.

Do you just appreciate and love some people, but either don't tell them enough or just forget to tell them at all? Well that's how I feel about my besties! You all KNOW who you are!

If if have to ask, "Am I a bestie?", my immediate response would be to say, "no, you're not". But that's not necessarily the case.

To any of you who have listened when I've weaped, laughed when I wasn't funny, embraced my moments of total randomness (and ADD), and gave me a good phyiscal or verbal slap in the face when I've needed it the most, then THIS is for you.

This is how I feel about you, and know I will always be there for you! When times and friendships are amazing, and when they're not all that great either.

LOVE YOU!

Addison Road

Come on, it's me you're talking to
there's something going on inside of you
don't have to say it, but I wish you would
cause it would be much easier

You always hide behind yourself
you walk a lonely road with no one's help
I hate to break the news
you're headed for a fall

And if I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I won't look down
you can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you
Even if you try and shut me out
I'm staying here 'cause thats what love's about
I might let you down, but I won't let you go

So lean into me, I want to know
Everything about the fear you hold inside
'cause you and I are better than just one so

If that's what it means to love you
If that's what it means to have your back
If that what it takes to show you
Then I'm in, I'm in

And if I have to jump
then I'll jump
and I won't look down
you can cry, you can fight, we can scream and shout
I'll push and pull
until your walls come down
and you understand I'm gonna be around
I'm sticking with you
.::AFarOffBritt::.

Life and Loss

If I've learned anything about life and loss, is if you have taken full advantage of accepting, knowing, and loving a person for everything that they are, everything that they weren't, and everything you didn't know. You never really lost. You gained, because whether you see them again here on earth or in the presence of Jesus, you win.

You always win. 


I have been so blessed that God has put some of the most AMAZING people on this earth in my life. He didn't just put them in my life, though. These are people I know, love and will cherish for all of eternity. People who know what sacrificing their life for others is really, truly about. I can only be thankful and continue to strive to live my life for Christ as they have, and hope, and pray I may one day be used as powerfully as they.

Thank you, Jesus. I am so undeserving of the life you have given me. 
But I'm thankful, so genuinely thankful.


.::AFarOffBritt::.

What is this feeling?

Am I numb? Am I in denial? Has it not hit me yet?

I don't think it's any of these. If I close my eyes, all I see and feel is Christ holding me in His arms and taking all the pain I'm feeling as I am cradled and safe from any outside affliction.

"There He goes, a Hero,
A savior to the world
Here he stands
With scars in his hands
With love
He gave
His life
So we could be free
The Savior of the world..."

These are the lyrics streaming through my buds at this very moment... How precious is Christ that He would do what He did for me.

How can I be angry, sad, or distraught for the person I've lost here on this earth?!
My flesh wants to be devistated. It wants to be upset and sad that I should have done more, I should have said more, I should have sacrificed more. But it is Christ who is constantly telling me that I didn't have to do anything. That He did it all for me. I just have to continue to love and follow Him, and that is what is good enough.

Pastor knew. He knew how God has changed my life. And that is all he needed to know. He wasn't disappointed in me for the years I ran from God. He was thankful for the recent time I've come back to Him.

Thank you, God for sharing this with me. Thank you for being so compassionate that I don't need to worry or be ashamed. All it took was one final conversation for Pastor to know his years of prayers and tears were not in vain. That I made it. That I got it. That I finally surrendered. My life of following Christ was another miracle that Pastor got to see before returning to his real home.

Praise you, Jesus! Praise and glory be to you!!

.::AFarOffBritt::.

Oh I've Missed You

Dear Starbucks,

I've missed you greatly. I feel I abandoned our relationship as soon as was no longer in need of your WiFi offerings. I know. I led you on to believe my love for you was much deeper when really I just used you for what you were good for:
Caffeine kicks
Wifi
A good place to get away

I am still dedicated to you in a way, though. I cannot see myself going anywhere else and drinking their coffee and using their Internet and still have the same feelings I feel for you. My love for you has never changed, just life changed.

But do not worry about me. This life change I had was for the better! Partly due to our several months we spent together and mainly due to the grace of God, I can say I am different this January. I am a different person. I'm not as lost as I was. I'm not as discontent. I'm not dreading and questioning this year like I was last.

I may not visit you as often, but I promise when I visit we will still have this quality time together.

I thank you for your commitment to me, even when I am not as comitted to you. I will enjoy our time of reunion today, and until next time...

.::AFarOffBritt::.

A Man Named Ray

So tonight was a little interesting, I met a man named Ray.
I was sitting here at Panera intending to work up a little meal planning/grocery list, and just as I began eating it, I saw a man sitting alone at a table pretending to be involved in the paper before his eyes. I have this illness where I am constantly watching other people. I think people might think I'm creepy because I'm staring at them all the time, but really I just study people. I like to watch the way they blink, the way they talk, the way they move, I should have just gone to school for sociology.

But there sat Ray. I felt like God wanted me to go talk to Ray. A little weird, but exciting because I think this man just needs a smile. Now I don't know what I'm going to say to him or how long I'll talk to him, or if I'll just sit down, or just stand there and be awkward, but I'll go talk to this guy. Well I have a free cookie on my My Panera card, so I go get a toffee nut cookie (because Dad loves toffee, so every older gentleman must like toffee!)

I get the cookie, walk right up to the man and say, "Hi! You look like you could use a smile, so I got you a cookie!"
He looked at me stunned and said, "What are you an angel?" and I sat down and said, "ha noooo." He asked, "Where did you come from?" I said I was sitting over there and just saw you and thought maybe you'd like a cookie, because you looked sad." He said, "Well, you're right." I asked what was wrong and he said he didn't know me well enough to tell me anything like that, but just that he was sitting there alone on thanksgiving and it wasn't right.

Well we began to chitchat and over an hour or two I knew why he was sitting there and why he was unhappy and I really believe God just used me to speak to him. It was so sad though, because he just 100% believes his life is over and I just told him, it wasn't, that God could give him life back and give him joy back, just like he had for me.

I don't know why God used me to speak to Ray, or maybe I just needed to hear what Ray had to say to me to avoid a life like he had.
I don't know. But I sit here confused and curious and just silently asking God, who sent who for who?

Ray asked to keep in touch, so I allowed him to write his number down for me. He said we should hang out again, maybe do lunch... I'm not so sure that's a good idea, but perhaps I'll give him a call from the church sometime and just let him know I'm praying for him. In the meantime, I think I need to be praying for me, too. For wisdom. For knowledge. For truth. For confidence. That the next time I meet a stranger, that I will wholeheartedly know the voice of the Lord and just allow Him to speak through me. Perhaps I'll pray that I won't be alone next time it happens too.

God is good.

Lord, give me discernment to know how to take this conversation that just happened. Lord I ask that I'm not 45 and unhappy and sad that life didn't end the way I wanted for a certain someone. Lord, you gave me a promise, just like Abraham, just like David, just like Esther. I won't forget it an I am standing on your Word and its truth.

How great you are God, how great you are!

.::AFarOffBritt::.

My first attempt at a Pinterest project!!

I love my new apt and needed something fun, easy and cheap to get it looking a little homier :)

Sweet sesame rice!

I have to admit. There are few things I find to be perfect. And I mean this in the sense of things man "creates".


But tonight I must share my absolute love and adoration for sushi. I can't help it! If food could be my soulmate, I would choose sushi!


It's so yummy and scrumdidiliumptous to the mouth and to the belly! My taste buds explode with joyness and my belly ALWAYS burps up a thank you for the treat! It's incomparable to anything else I've ever eaten. Except maybe sukiyaki, but that has to be made homemade. At least you can have someone else make sushi and it can still water the buds with sheer perfection.


Okay I'm done. You get it! Yum! Now go get yourself some SUSHI!


I highly recommend the Spicy Tuna Roll w/ Brown Rice :)


Yum-TASTIC!!


.::AFarOffBritt::.


p.s. Certain guacamoles rate up there with sushi. Oh! and that soup I had in Spain! mmmmmmmmMMMMM!!

Mrs B

I feel I've aged 10 years since last Friday. I've never had to go through what I did this past weekend. Face the moment of telling someone goodbye... telling them all I could and how much they meant to me.

I'm not sure if it's worse knowing you have to say goodbye or not.

The thought of saying the "g" word makes me sick. All weekend long the only thing I was silently questioning was, "If this were the last time you were to ever see me, what would you tell me? What would you say to me?"

Granted I didn't verbally ask anyone this, but it really was the question that went through my mind with each person I spoke to...

I'm sure no one noticed my awkward pause, but I still thought it...

Then I wondered, "Does it made a difference?"

When I spent time with Mrs. B I was constantly praying it would not be the last time we spoke. I would lay there just silent when I should have been talking. But I had too much to say that I couldn't even figure out where to begin...

How do you tell someone whose had one of the greatest impacts on your life how you feel about them?

She's by far my most favorite teacher, my friend, my encourager, my help when I'm struggling, my voice of reason when certain things in life aren't making sense, my role model, my challenger, she's who I picture myself as when I'm older.

I want to do something in my life that will be completely spectacular! I know I can because God will do it for me. I want to travel the world! I want to travel to help people.

I want to meet the amazing people in this world who know they have a purpose far greater than what they set for themselves... I once had a conversation with a friend about what we wanted from life... and how passionate we were about what we wanted to do and use the gifts God gave us and even if we really weren't that good and we weren't the best we knew we would still succeed because we were believing in our love for that thing so much that no matter how good we were we would be great because our excitement for it made it so alive and so real and contagious that people would want to learn and not only learn about that thing but take it and apply it to their lives and see it how we see it and love it how we love it and not for what it is but what is in us.

Mrs. B, this is because of you!

I love art more than I ever did because of you. I want to be an art teacher because of you. I want to encourage kids to be who ever and whatever they want only because they have the burning passion to do it! Art related or not. I want to teach kids that, being unique is the best part about them. I want to take students on adventures and teach them new perspectives all because of you! You've opened my eyes to a way of viewing life and enjoying every single moment of it in ways that people forget matter.

Always live joyously, even when it hurts.

Never stop creating.

Don't strive as much.

Be who you are.

Take more chances.

Do more.

Don't text and drive.

Think... Is this something Mrs. B would do?

Mrs. B you're going to make it. You have to make it!

You have to finish the Buckeye Trail and I want to finish it with you!

We have to still do iHop or Bobs every time I come back to town.

We still have that hot tub/painting date we've been trying to have for years.

You have to go to Kenya with me!

You have to be there so I can introduce you to my first art class.

You have to help me paint my first house.

You have to be at my wedding.

You have to be around to draw my first baby.

Mrs. B, you just have to make it...

There's still far too much we have to do together... I can't lose you yet. I just can't.

God, please don't take her home yet. Please, please, please, please, please, I beg you! Please God, I just beg you. Allow me to be selfish just this once. Please let it be okay just this time that I want what I want more than what you want.

God, please.

.::AFarOffBritt::.

Back to Blogging

Okay... so I got a little off track here for a while, but I am back!
Life has been a bit of a whirlwind lately, and I really don't feel it necessary to relish in what has happened in the last 7 weeks... just watch CNN and other things like that. it's about the same...
okay... maybe not completely the same, but you know... its all repetition...
okay, that's really a lie... in fact, speaking of lying, I need to make a confession. I've been lying a lot lately :( I know awful, right?!
Well I'd like to say, it's not that big of a lie, but a lie is a lie. So anyways...
I've caught up with a lot of old friends lately and whenever they ask me, What's new? I just say, "nothing. work n such"...
SEE I told you!!! not that big of a lie!!! I mean really... when you ask someone that questions, are you really REALLY wanting to know what current events are going on in their lives?? probably not. in fact, when they do actually begin to tell you, you suddenly remember your "walk-ins welcome" flu shot appointment you have to get to!
See! you're just as pitiful as I am... at least I'm admitting to it. :)
Regardless, I've been lying. I've been up to a lot lately.


But long story short...
I'm going to Kenya.


.::AFarOffBritt::.

As the days go by

29 full days...

4 injections...

Lots of packing...

Lots of praying...

Lots of prepping...

For one week...

To fulfill years worth of dreams

Wow am I ready!

Sunsets & the 101

Off to California tomorrow :]
.::AFarOffBritt::.