Fears. Don't we all just hate being afraid of stuff. Isn't it even worse when you don't know why? Ugh! I know! I've never really been what I would call a "scaredy cat", but over the years certain things made me twinge more than others. I remember when I used to be afraid of the dark. Ahh that was awful!! Now, now I deal with a few other things.
First and foremost I hate deep water. Like ocean or lake water that you can't touch the bottom. I don't even care if I can see the bottom. If I can't touch it. I ain't going in it. I think this began as a kid at my grandma's pond. The minnows would come up and nibble on our toes. So creepy. Then in junior high my friends and I were swimming in a quarry someone owned. You could feel the springs beneath your feet and I learned stories how the quarry flooded and there was still machinery down there. That's was did it. Before we knew it we'd swam half way to the other side and I got spooked. Swam back as fast as I could and haven't been the same since.
Secondly I'm not a fan of bees I guess. Didn't realize this was a problem until the last couple of months. I usually do everything I can to avoid them included sprinting away in random bursts in hopes of the stingers that chase me. Normally I succeed. But this last time I was home a bee got in the kitchen and flew right at my face. Instantly fell to the floor an nearly wept. Alicia, Lexi and my mother almost peed themselves from laughed so hard. I, on the other hand didn't enjoy it as much as they did.
How did this start? Well, who really likes bees begin?? I like their honey! My fragile state I feel can be credited to the ultimate frisbee game a few years ago. Barefooted I stepped on a bee and had trouble walking or a week and a half. No fun!
Lastly like most I have a fear of failure - making the wrong decisions, letting people down, making my team look bad, etc. When I am dealt too many options my anxiety skyrockets and I have a hard time dealing with things. I shut down until things begin to work themselves out. I believe this could to and be partially to blame for why Pennsylvania was so hard on me. I've made a ton of decisions here as well as learned about myself. I've never dealt with anxiety prior to moving here, but it gave me a taste of what most Americans struggle with. It's not only fear of failure, but if you fail, you fail to provide, you fail to bring acceptance and many other derivatives.
As long as fear doesn't complicated or keep us from living our lives I don't think it so bad. It can encourage us to push past what can be holding us back from a better future.
What are you afraid of?
.::a far off Britt::.