It is that time of the year again!
Time to bake! For some reason I always feel more drawn to putting my oven into overdrive, using all 4 burners, making delicious sweet treats in the summer and 9000 Degrees outside!
So what is the task at hand, you ask?
A cake.
A warm, gooey, delicious, cake.
I just found a collaboration of recipes online of this cake I want to make. I have little experience conjoining recipes, but they all state different directions with the same 4 ingredients. I only have 2 of the 4, so I'm going to wing it and go with what I got in my kitchen! I'm pretty sure I've already made 3 trips to the store for these ingredients--I'm not going back again.
Unless it totally TANKS, and I have to make it all over again!
So I begin!
Step 1) Open the cake mix, pour it into the bowl.
Step 2) Do the same with the pudding mix. (Oh yes! There is pudding in here!)
Mistake #1)
I realize I never preheated my oven!
Or even took my new mixer out of the box!
Detour #1) I stop the mixing process and empty the oven.
Detour #2) Find mixer.
Detour #3) Take out of box. Wash Mixer.
Distraction #1) I look down into the bowl of delicious cake/pudding mix powder and my eye is caught.
I'm kind of a sucker for that part of the cake powder that's kind of lumpy... You know what I'm talking about...
So I grab a little spoon and swipe a chunk of cake mix and plop it into my mouth. I eat.
Realization #1) I figured I should wash my hands and in the midst of the activity, I made my mistake.
I breathed.
Finite cake powder rushes into my lungs. I cough and gasp and reach for my water bottle.
Now I've choked on water before and survived, but this is much worse! Each cough is preceded and followed by a gasp, so every minute piece of micro-powder that escapes my lungs gets re-inhaled of everything that is still loose inside my esophagus.
I might potentially die from cake powder inhalation!
Somehow I lived to tell the tale, but as I continue to clear the paste it created in my throat, I'm thankful it's at least vanilla flavored cake. Yummy?
.::Back To The Cake::.
Step 3) I add a couple more ingredients, veggie oil and applesauce (I don't have eggs) and then I pause at my secret ingredient.... I pause... it may cause an explosion...
Oh yes. Its that kind of cake.
I think, "here goes nothin...." and I crack open the can and pour the fizzy, bubbly liquid into the mixing bowl. The. whole. can.
I glance back at my directions now to make sure I just did this right.
Mistake #2) It says, "pour half of can into bowl, mix until smooth, pour other half of can, then mix until smooth..."
Oops!
Realization #2) I never learn! I NEVER EVER read the instructions in it's entirety before making whatever concoction it is I dare try.
I look back into my bowl and it looks like one of those volcano science projects and its bubbling over...
Re-written Step 4) I do the only thing there is left to do, I grab the mixer!
Good thing it did what I was hoping it would do! Calmed it all right down and by golly it looks like cake batter!
Step 5) I pour it into my pans (Step 6) and into the oven we go.
Well... not "we" as in me an the cake, but you know what I mean!
.::35 minutes later::.
I have 2 baked cakes. One is the guinea pig and the other is the prized possession. Good thing I had a guinea pig because I sure annihilated it with different attempts at making up my own glaze and frosting and none were really good.
.::Hour Later::.
I let the other cake cool and now I must cut it down to fit into the small container for shipping. Oh I wished you could have watch. I tried to chisel a perfect circle, which wasn't too bad but then it was stuck to the pan. So I tried to jiggle it while it was upside down... potential bad idea, and it failed. I tried to shove a knife under it and scrape it out. Still did not work. finally I ripped the sides down in the fold and took a knife and scraped it out. Unharmed at that. I then added some padding inside the new container with the sides I cut off of the cake and managed to do this flippy thing with the cake that I got it into the shipping container. WHEW!
It is now all saran wrapped and packaged and off to Australia :)
Hope you love it Mr. Ford!
.::AFarOffBritt::.
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